America has a (dinner) culture problem

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I received this automatic message recently after booking a dinner reservation for an upcoming trip. It’s not the first of its kind, and I doubt it’ll be the last. But it cemented a feeling I’ve had for a while yet have been afraid to admit. America, we have a dining problem.

When did dining become such a transactional experience with a business-like approach to service? A place where customers are ushered in and out faster than the revolving door can close? I understand the Spark notes—money is paid, and a service provided—textbook transaction. But if we read between the lines, isn’t there room for more?

Looking to movies and art for inspiration, there are many cases for the pleasure of dining. Most of these are set in Europe, which consequently speaks to the disparity between more than just our dining cultures.

V, my go-to source on all things European, misses the perception of dining as a more leisurely and social activity. Meals are savored and can be stretched out over longer periods of time. Dining is viewed as more than just a meal; it's an opportunity to connect with others, appreciate the food, and enjoy the experience of dining itself. Here in the U.S., we prioritize efficiency and convenience, and this seemingly spills over into our restaurant experiences.

It’s not just theory and speculation on my side either. I experienced my first, proper, eastern-European dinner last weekend in Chicago. Although it was Easter, we were there to celebrate the birthday of V’s relative. His choice of restaurant? Georgian (the country, not the state).

Joining us were two of the family friends. I was the lone Americansky (as referred to by the waiters), so English was used sparingly at the table. I sat there quietly, perfectly content enjoying my food and drink—something Georgians do very well—and observed.

Another frequent event at dinner is a toast. A companion to every shot taken, these are not your run-of-the-mill toasts. There are no “Cheers!” or “Na Zdorovie!” here. These are novellas, carefully thought through and stated deliberately, and you better be ready when it comes ‘round to you.

There was enough sustenance and discussion for four hours, if not more. It took this time because it was more than just dinner. The food, the drinks, and the table gathered around—merely accessories to the friends and community. Also, we were not shepherded away after some allotted time ran out. On the contrary, the waitstaff was an integral part of the night (especially for me since they were the only other English speakers).

It was one of the best dinners I’ve had in a long time. That is, until the next morning… Despite what everyone promised, enough Chacha will indeed result in a hangover.