On 2023

Another year, gone. Days fleeting by like the roadside through a car window; these 30 years have passed in the blink of an eye. Starting my career and meeting the love of my life, the rigor of college, the carefree years of high school, and the camaraderie of youth sports, all as fresh as last night's dream. 

As every new year is a time for both forethought and reflection, especially those containing milestone birthdays, I inevitably found myself revisiting the notes app on my phone to see which of the 2023 goals I had completed. To my dismay, I could only cross off one of the fifteen as completed (I should perhaps revisit those more often). I did, however, realize I made significant progress toward the other fourteen, and that has to count for something, right? 

Could this thinking be a perpetrator behind the feeling the past year flew by? In a world so goal-oriented that rewards busyness, could this continual rat race towards the next achievement, the next cross off the to-do list, be at play with the feeling that life is passing by faster than can be appreciated?

I believe so, with confirmation coming from one of the books I read this year, or rather listened to while running, "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. One of his points that stuck with me the most is that, for a long time, people have gone about goal setting the wrong way. Goal setting focuses only on the results, delaying gratification and satisfaction until the goal is achieved.

"The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: "Once I reach my goal, then I'll be happy." The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you're continually putting happiness off until the next milestone."

— James Clear

His answer lies in reframing goal setting to focus on your "system," or the processes used to work towards your desired outcomes. For example, a typical New Year's resolution is to read more. Instead of setting an arbitrary target number of books, make it your resolution to read 15 minutes a day or a chapter a night. This way of thinking is much more likely to result in a habit leading to the ultimate goal of reading more.

More importantly, this reframing pulls focus back from the future to the now. I've spent my entire life concerned about the future. And why shouldn't I? That is, in fact, where I'll spend the rest of my life. This is a very slippery slope. Our fast-paced modern lives, from corporate ladder climbing to TikTok brain rot, make it damn near impossible to be present. We're living longer, but living less. 

The quality of the past year won't be judged against the number of goals achieved, the number of boxes checked. The simple fact I've left 2023 better than I entered it will suffice. 

Here's to 2024 being a year of less, a year of moving slower, a year of the now. Here's to realizing a sunset is more striking through your eyes than a phone; a concert can give you goosebumps live, yet not on a Snapchat story. Here's to not feeding the Instagram machine. Here's to more letters and less small talk. 

Here's to realizing getting better every day, looks different every day.